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The concept of love is an emotion that takes many forms that can be experienced in many different ways. The idea of the "six circles of loving" highlights the different forms that love can take and the various individuals and entities that we can direct our love towards.
When writing characters, we can understand their worldview better by placing them in this model. Each circle represents an expanding capacity for love and compassion, from the most intimate (self) to the most universal (the cosmos).
The 6 Circles of Loving
1. I can love myself
The foundation of all love
The first circle of loving is self-love. This is the foundation of all love and refers to the ability to show love and compassion towards oneself. It is important to practice self-love as it helps to build self-esteem, confidence, and a positive sense of self-worth. Without self-love, it is difficult to extend love to others.
2. I can love a friend
The circle of friendship
The second circle of loving is love for a friend. Friendships are an important source of love and support, and being able to love and care for your friends is essential to maintaining healthy relationships.
3. I can love a stranger
The circle of humanity
The third circle of loving is love for a stranger. This refers to the ability to show kindness and compassion towards people we do not know personally. It is about recognizing the humanity in others and being able to extend love and compassion towards them, even if we do not have a personal connection.
4. I can love an enemy
The circle of forgiveness
The fourth circle of loving is love for an enemy. This is perhaps the most challenging form of love, as it requires us to extend love and understanding towards those who may have caused us harm or whom we may hold grudges against. It is about letting go of anger and resentment and finding a way to forgive and move forward.
5. I can love all peoples
The circle of universal acceptance
The fifth circle of loving is love for all peoples. This is a broader form of love that encompasses the idea of loving and accepting people from all walks of life, regardless of their background or beliefs. It is about embracing diversity and seeing the beauty in all people.
6. I can love the universe
The circle of cosmic connection
The final circle of loving is love for the universe. This refers to a deep sense of connection and appreciation for the world around us and the interconnectedness of all living things. It is about finding beauty and meaning in the natural world and cultivating a sense of wonder and awe.
Checklist: Using Love Circles in Your Story or World
- Which circle does your character currently operate within?
- What prevents them from expanding to the next circle of love?
- How do their love boundaries create conflict with others?
- What would trigger their expansion to a broader circle?
- How do different characters' love circles interact and conflict?
How to Use These Circles in Stories & Worlds
- Map a character's growth by moving them through expanding circles (e.g., from self-love to universal love).
- Use different circles for different characters to create relationship dynamics and conflicts.
- Show how expanding love circles changes relationships, worldviews, and plot outcomes.
- Let setbacks and contractions be part of the arc—love growth is rarely linear.
- Combine circles for complex societies (e.g., a world where different groups operate within different love boundaries).
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